On valentines day this year (2011) Maria Griffin from California married her truck after claiming that men left her unsatisfied. “Our sex life is amazing”, she said. Their love was consummated three times on the wedding night. Sending shock waves around the world the message obviously beat a path straight to our very own beloved living plastic doll Jordan.
Never one to miss a potential PR opportunity, serial man eater Jordan AKA Katie Price has just announced her plans for marital bliss with Jason, her blow-up male doll. The notorious party girl has eaten her way through countless relationships, including two marriages which she claims have all failed to leave her satisfied.
Katie’s high profile reality TV marriage to Peter Andre ended in a bitter custody battle over rights to their lucrative money spinning reality show: “I just want to be left alone outside of the public glare to fix my broken heart” quoted katie to her reality show camera crew at the time.
After a string of failed relationships and Katie’s quickie marriage, to male lump of muscle Alex Reid, left the failed Pop songstress cold, she has turned to the inanimate man doll made out of plastic. Clinical psychologist Dr Brian Cocks explained that “Objectum sexuality is when women manifest their unfulfilled lust onto inanimate objects. They may have a desire to be more in control of their life or relationship and prefer the company of an object that can be manipulated and doesn’t talk back.” An obvious choice after her marriage to the outspoken Mr Reid.
For lavish nuptial number three Katie is planning a lavish wedding and is expected to be dressed as a giant pink swan. “My groom and I request that you respect our privacy at this intimate time” said Katie in her latest press release. Her manager also released a statement saying that “The ceremony can be followed live via the jordan.com website (payperview) and OK magazine will be exclusively covering the full day with a special pull-out souvenir edition, pre-order your copy at Jordan.com”. I’m not sure if anybody will be able to tell the difference between groom number 3 and number 2.
Category Celebrity Sex Rumpus | Tags None
